mornings

I am a morning person, through and through. I love the feeling of waking up before everyone else, sometimes even before the sun itself is shining. I love making coffee while the house is quiet and watching the sun come up over the horse pastures across the road. I love the idea of being an observer, of being the only thing moving, the only thing with its eyes open.

Biblically, mornings are pretty amazing too. They are a blessing every day.

Every morning is a blessing because:
- I'm awake because God has sustained me! (Psalm 3:5)
- God's mercies are anew every morning (Lamentations 3:23)
- God hears my voice right away (Psalm 5:3)
- God is with me right away and all through the night (Psalm 139)
- God has made this day- I should rejoice! (Psalm 118:24)
- God has given me the choice between good and evil (Deuteronomy 30:15)
- No matter what happened yesterday, joy comes in the morning! (Psalm 30:5)
- Salvation has come to me! (Luke 19:9)
- My God is the same faithful God this morning as he has been for ages past, and he will be the same tomorrow too! (Hebrews 13:8)

I don't think that all of you are morning people. In fact, I know that my singing and cheeriness in the morning has annoyed even the dearest of friends on various mission trips. And that's okay! Just cling to the fact that tomorrow morning when your alarm clock wakes you up at 5 am, it is still a good morning. Even when your alarm clock doesn't wake you up on time, it is still a good morning. When your coffee pot explodes coffee all over you, it is still a good morning. When you cried yourself to sleep and your eyes are puffy, it is still a good morning. When it is raining and when you're mad and when you're stressed out and when you are incredibly happy, it is a good morning. It's a good morning because it's a new morning, a new blessing from God. Every morning is a sign of God's unending mercy.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; 

his mercies never comes to an end; 

they are new every morning; 

great is Your faithfulness."

-Lamentations 3:22-23

Good morning!

hope

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, 
   but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."
                  -Proverbs 13:12


My parents always always used to repeat the first part of that verse to me as I grew up (and sometimes they still do). "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, babe." "Don't get your hopes up, Kait." Because when the possibility of something exciting comes up, I immediately start getting hopeful about it (see my entry on patience). Over the years, I have experienced a lot of unnecessary heartache because I got my hopes up too quickly over things that weren't solidified- and even some things that were. 

“Show me, LORD, my life’s end
   and the number of my days;
   let me know how fleeting my life is. 

You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
   the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Everyone is but a breath,
   even those who seem secure...

But now, Lord, what do I look for?
   My hope is in you."

      -Psalm 39: 4-5, 7

Friends, hoping in the Lord will never result in a hurt heart. He will never disappoint you or let you down. He will never compromise on his gifts for you or on his plans for your life. Put your hopes in Him and you will never experience dissatisfaction. 

"Israel, put your hope in the LORD, 

   for with the LORD is unfailing love 
   and with him is full redemption."
     -Psalm 130:7


The Lord is full of unfailing love and redemption. He has no limit. He has no end. Don't be afraid to hope in the Lord. 

the body

My thanksgiving break did not go as planned. I did not eat way too much food, I did not watch football, and I certainly did not drink coffee. I did, however, spend most of my time sleeping, dead to the world. Why? Because all day on Thanksgiving, beginning at five in the morning and continuing the rest of the day at regular thirty minute increments, I puked my guts out. Literally. And in somewhere in the process of self-diagnosis, I learned that the more accurate name for my bout of puking was not 'the stomach flu' but instead is 'viral gastroenteritis'. I know this because both my stomach and my intestines were affected. Need I say more?

Saturday evening, when I was catching my flight out of Denver to come back to the glorious Midwest, I reached in my backpack to pull out a book and gave myself a paper cut under my finger nail. 

I am not telling you these stories to earn your pity or your care packages (although the latter is always dearly appreciated). I am telling you these stories because both hurt me. In different ways and at different levels of pain, yes, but both- even for just a short amount of time- altered the way I functioned. 

Friends, what I am about to say is nothing new: we are the body of Christ. Each one of us has a different function- a function that God has created us to fulfill to bring him glory. Do we even recognize when our inner workings are not functioning properly? Could it be that our churches are metaphorically vomiting because we have not taken the time to figure out where our internal systems are not working properly? Or maybe we do know they are not working properly; have we taken the time to fix them?

At the same time, are the hands of our Church willingly putting themselves in places where they could be cut and hurt under the most sensitive part of their hand- their finger nail? Are we willing to reach out to the hurting, knowing that it is our job to share in their hurt? Are we willing to be compassionate? And most of all, are we willing to unify together and experience what all the different parts of the body are doing together? 

The finger needs the brain and the nerves to tell it when it has been hurt. The body automatically knows that throwing up is not a daily habit to take part in. Likewise, the Church needs its head, Christ, to tell her when things are not as they should be. It then becomes the Church's job to reach out and become the tangible method of redemption, with Christ always at the forefront. 

Friends, be thankful for your Body. Know the part you are in it, and actually be the part you are. The body needs the inner workings of intestines as much as it needs the hands. Believe me, I know.

idols

^"18 To whom then will you liken God,

    or what likeness compare with him?
¹⁹ An idol! A craftsman casts it,
   and a goldsmith overlays it with gold
   and casts for it silver chains.
²⁰ He who is too impoverished for an offering
   chooses wood that will not rot;
he seeks out a skillful craftsman
   to set up an idol that will not move.

 ²¹ Do you not know? Do you not hear?
   Has it not been told you from the beginning?
   Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth?
²²It is he who sits above the circle of the earth,
   and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers;
who stretches out the heavens like a curtain,
   and spreads them like a tent to dwell in;
²³ who brings princes to nothing,
   and makes the rulers of the earth as emptiness.

 ²⁴Scarcely are they planted, scarcely sown,
   scarcely has their stem taken root in the earth,
when he blows on them, and they wither,
    and the tempest carries them off like stubble.

 ²⁵ To whom then will you compare me,
   that I should be like him? says the Holy One.
²⁶Lift up your eyes on high and see:
   who created these?
He who brings out their host by number,
   calling them all by name,
by the greatness of his might,
   and because he is strong in power
   not one is missing.

 ²⁷Why do you say, O Jacob,
   and speak, O Israel,
"My way is hidden from the LORD,
    and my right is disregarded by my God"?
²⁸Have you not known? Have you not heard?The LORD is the everlasting God,
   the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
    his understanding is unsearchable.
²⁹He gives power to the faint,
   and to him who has no might he increases strength.
³⁰Even youths shall faint and be weary,
   and young men shall fall exhausted;
³¹but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
   they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
   they shall walk and not faint."

                       -Isaiah 40:18-31, ESV

Many people know the end of this chapter in Isaiah; "they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength..." But isn't interesting that there is a contrast set up between "they who wait for the Lord" and those who make idols (v 19-20)? It's almost as if Israel has turned to idols because they believe that, "My way is hidden from the Lord, and my right is disregarded by my God (v 27)". They thought that God had forgotten about them or was ignoring their situation, and therefore they constructed idols. 

And then Isaiah reminds them who God truly is. He doesn't forget about his people. Instead, He is everlasting, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He never gets tired (even though they continually reject Him), He has unlimited understanding. He gives power to the weak, He calls the stars out by name...and how much more does He love Israel than the stars! 

Isn't it interesting that God promised Abraham that his lineage would be grow as numerous as the stars (Exodus 32:13), and then in Isaiah 40, God reminds Israel to look up to the stars to see His power and might? Almost as if He is reminding them of how he keeps his promises and is faithful. Not only that, but God calls the stars out by name! This parallelism then extends to mean that God calls his people by name; he is a personal God and he wants his people to love him- not idols!

Friends, what is your idol? What is replacing the one true God in your life? What are you spending time with that takes God's place? Are you focusing on pleasing people, getting in shape, getting good grades, having a lot of friends, or even doing 'good' things? I challenge you to re-focus your motivation for doing all of these things...are you doing them for the glory of your Creator, or are you doing them to take the place of living for your Creator?

Your way is not hidden from the Lord. Your right is not disregarded by God. Wait for the Lord; wait for the God whose understanding is unfathomable and whose strength is extended into those who are weak and admit their dependence on Him. Dependence on an idol will never give you strength. 

God's child

I have been studying who I am in Christ lately. Yesterday, I learned from 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 that I am God's valuable possession. I was bought with the high price of Jesus' blood and I am not my own. I belong to God as his possession.

I remind myself of this daily. When I feel worthless, I am God's prized possession. When I feel unwanted, I am bought with Christ's own blood. When I feel out of my own control, I belong to God and not to myself.

But what I learned today is from John 1:12 :

      "But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God." 

The closest experience I have had thus far to actually having kids is this past summer, when I nannied for three children from my church. Those kids were dependent on me to teach them, feed them, discipline them...I cared for them tenderly. I carried the small 3 year old boy when he was tired and I put a band aid on his finger when he caused damage to himself by breaking something or doing something he should not have.

How much more does my Father care for me, his child? I can only imagine that everything that is true for how I care for the 3 year old boy is infinitely more true for how God cares for me. He blocks the routes that I want to take to destruction and temptation (Hosea 2). He alone sustains me- my food, my clothes, everything (Matthew 6). He knows my past and my future and my most intimate thoughts (Psalm 139). And all because I am his child! How incredible!

I am protected, loved, cared for, provided for, healed by and held by the best Father history has ever known.

Today in Christ and because of Christ, I am God's child.

today's prayer

Right after Jesus asks Peter three times if he loves Him, this is what happens:


"Peter asked Jesus, 'What about him, Lord?' 
Jesus replied, 'If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You follow me.'" 
                                                              - John 21:21-22

My Prayer: 

Jesus, as I worry about today and begin comparing myself, remind me that I follow you, regardless of what others are doing. I sing to you, regardless of how others are singing. I live for you, regardless of how others are living. What are they to me? All I know for sure is that you love me and I am to follow you. May that be true of me today, tonight, and the rest of my life. "You follow me." - Jesus



"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock...Lord, we love to obey your laws; our heart's desire is to glorify your name. All night long I search for you; earnestly I seek for God.

"Lord, you will grant us peace, for all we have accomplished is really from you. O Lord our God, others have ruled us, but we worship you alone. Those we served before are dead and gone. Never again will they return!"

                                          - Isaiah 26:3-4; 8-9; 12-14


My prayer:

God, lead me to the place where you want me. Show me where to serve. I know where my heart is leading me, but I want to hear from you.

It is wrong for me to dwell on anything but You, oh Lover of my soul. May my thoughts be fixed on you. Mold my heart more and more so that I can truthfully say that "my heart's desire is to glorify Your name!" Reveal to me that all of my earthly 'accomplishments' are really from you. I have never done, and never will do, anything alone or by my own power or ability.

Father, thank you for peace. Help me to trust in you so that I can experience that peace even more. You are my Rock.

patience

I recently learned the true meaning of the saying, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." My parents used to quote this to me all the time to remind me not to get my hopes up about something that hasn't happened yet. Easier said than done, yes?

I guess I am notorious for getting really excited and passionate about everything. If there's the possibility of an inspirational musician coming to the area, I get excited. If there's the possibility that I might help organize a youth event, I get excited. If there's the possibility that I maybe somehow could go somewhere exciting, I get excited.

And most recently, I got excited over a ministry here at Olivet.

I have very prayerfully been examining my motives for being apart of a worship team in college this entire summer; is this for me and my pride and fame, or for the glory of God? Am I in this to impress people, or to serve my Savior? As I felt a peace come on my heart in regards to sign ups this week, I began researching the different outbound ministries that Olivet has. I found one in particular that really seemed to match what I have been praying for for months.

Imagine how excited I became at the discovery of this ministry, and how much more prayer went into considering it! And then, imagine how crushed I became when I found out that auditions for this ministry aren't until the spring of next semester. After all of my praying and asking and being humbled, I have to wait?

"Patience, my child," God says. "I know what is best for you. I know your heart intimately and right now, this is where I want you."

So, today I acknowledge that when God starts teaching you, He never stops. He is teaching me humility, trust, love, gratefulness, and most recently, patience. God is in the business of changing lives, and I want mine to be changed. And today, that means that I must accept the opportunities He gives me and be patient for the ones that are to come. I'm excited.

refreshing

There are a few really cool passages that I want to share today- passages that are connected by the theme of prayer and community in a unique way.

"So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses as ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were wining. When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up- one on one side, one on the other- so that his hands remained steady till sunset. So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword...Moses built an altar and called it 'The Lord is my Banner'. He said, 'For hands were lifted up to the throne of the Lord. The Lord will be at war against the Amalekites from generation to generation."
             -Exodus 17:10-16

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone."
              -Colossians 4:2-6

What would our earthly relationships look like if we lifted up each others' arms when we became weary, like Moses, Aaron and Hur? What would they look like if we were devoted to prayer? If we made the most of every opportunity and allowed conversations to be full of grace? I think we would find our relationships to be incredibly refreshing. I think we would become energized to pursue more relationships to spread the glory of God. I think we would create a network of believers that thrives on grace and love.

conversation #1

My sister recently challenged me to journal in a bit of a different manner. The products were a huge realization and a whole lot of tears. I want to share a piece of this.

Me: God, I am nervous that my own abilities will not be enough to sustain me.
God: Child, your own abilities have never been and never will be enough to sustain you. Only I can sustain you and lift you up.
Me: I'm scared that I won't get to see my family.
God: Love, I have provided for you abundantly up to this point in time. I will continue to do so! I provide for those who fear Me. 
Me: I'm scared of losing my friends.
God: Beloved, find in me your solace. Make me your refuge.
Me: I don't want to be consumed with violin this fall. I want to be consumed with You and with relationships.
God: Child, rest in me. Find peace in my arms and in my will. I have carried you this far; I will work everything else out too. 
Me: I don't know how to fully trust You. I'm the most scared for this than I have been for anything else in my life.
God: I am right here with you, Kait. I take care of the sparrows and the lilies. Do you not remember how I have showed you my love? It is so great- even greater than my caring for the lilies. Do not worry! Don't freak out! I know what you need. If you worry, you are doubting my sovereign faithfulness and love. Trust me. Trusting me means casting all of your cares aside to follow the path that I have outlined for you. And your path right now, dear one, is to move to Colorado, go to ONU, and be apart of the orchestra there, regardless of the risks that you think seem to be there. Maybe I'll reveal pieces of my plan to you sometime, but for right now, hold tight. Trust in my love. Hold my hand. Feel my embrace. I love you more than you will ever comprehend. You are continually surrounded by my blessing, my fragrance, my faithfulness. Breathe it in. I'm always here. My love is strong- stronger than any human or man-made item. I am trustworthy and unfailing. 


My prayer:
Father, let me trust You. I want to act on my faith and stop whining. This will be hard. This will hurt. But following You in the wake of Your love is so much more important than any human emotion. 


Love, 
Kait.

willing

Basic fact #425: God calls us to do things way out of our comfort zones. And personally, it takes alot of prayer and letting go to follow God with the right attitude. The journey is hard, but as long as we are in God's will, we are provided for. 

However, what if God calls us to think about something just to ask us if we are simply willing to do His will? I saw this come up in my college search. I learned about a two year Bible college near my home, but it wasn't anything like the other colleges I was considering. However, I felt this huge pull to pray about the school and consider it. After much prayer, just when I was ready to talk to my parents about this change in plans, the pull was gone. I felt peace about my original decision. 

I think God wants me to be willing to follow Him to the ends of the earth, whether or not I stay in Wisconsin or even the United States. My heart needs to be willing. And if I am always open and receptive to God's will for my life, I can only imagine where His plan will take me. 

Jesus wants a willing heart. Are you willing? Am I?

psalm 23

I cannot tell you how many times I have read Psalm 23...it brings me comfort and confidence in who God is.

That being said, I don't think I ever fully noticed the last few lines of the Psalm until recently:

"Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

I have dwelled so much in my sorrow that I would repeat the first few verses to myself over and over again, completely forgetting the promise that God leaves us at the end.

No matter what happens, God's goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life. I WILL dwell in the house of the Lord forever, no matter what happens. No matter what! Isn't that incredible?

Check out this song by Jon Foreman, called The House of God, Forever.

treasure

"I would run for a thousand years
If I knew every step would be getting me closer;
I'd swim to the ocean floor,
For my Lord is the treasure
My Lord is the treasure."
               -Desperation Band


My family will be moving this summer, most likely to Colorado. I have struggled with this for a long time. It's easy to look at the broad scope of something as an adventure, but to get caught up in the details and then to lose trust in God and his will. Lesson one of this move is that God is in all the details, no questions asked. 


Something that I'm still trying to grasp is the idea of making God my everything- my heart, my home, my hope, my love, my peace, my joy, my comfort...I am realizing that humans seek an outlet to experience all of these things in their lives, maybe through a relationship or a hobby or a really nice home. We want to have something to turn to that will settle our nerves and assure us that we are loved and wanted. Some people spend their entire lives seeking comfort/joy/peace/acceptance. It's almost as if we as humans try digging in random places for a treasure chest, but we aren't paying attention to the map and the details it provides (forgive my weak analogy). 


The Bible says that all of creation points to God. The Bible tells us to place our hope in God, to place our trust in God, to place all of our resources in His hands. HE is to be our treasure- the reason we run the race and our reward for running it well. 


How does this tie back to moving? Well, as I pack up all of my belongings, it is so very easy to become sentimental and measure my life or memories or success by all the things that I am having to put away. I am continually reminded that Jesus is my treasure. He is the reason that I can move 16 hours away and still have hope and joy. I trust that, unlike my material items, He will never fade or be destroyed or lost. 


Here's my heart's take on the song mentioned earlier:


I would move a thousand miles away
If I knew every step would be growing me closer;
I'd live out of my comfort zone, 
for the Lord is my treasure,
My Lord is the treasure.


"Jesus Your love has come one step closer;
I will trust that You will never let me go
Jesus Your love has won me over
All my trust has found no other
I will declare the beauty of the Lord
Nothing compares to the beauty of the Lord
Jesus Your love, it takes my breath away"
       -Desperation Band

beautiful things

This past weekend, I went to Joplin, Missouri to help with disaster relief. It was probably the most impactful thing I have ever experienced. I struggle with how to put into words the exact emotion and hurt that I have seen in Joplin, which is frustrating because I want everyone to feel the same passion for that city that I do. Since I cannot adequately describe what I saw, I have posted a few pictures...However, I now need to describe how I feel and what I will remember forever, as those are not things that can be seen from pictures. 


The people in Joplin look like me and they speak the same language, so identifying with them came easily and naturally. Feeling their pain came easily also, as whole neighborhoods that probably were like mine just two weeks ago flashed before my eyes, completely and utterly destroyed. My team was comprised of people who had individually been prompted by God to come to Joplin; many had sacrificed to be there. Other volunteers in Joplin arrived with just enough gas in their tank to make it to the church and had no money to go home. To say that the body of Christ responded is an understatement. There were believers serving food to those doing work in the homes and to those without homes; there were believers setting up shower stations so that the volunteers could be clean...it was a beautiful union. 


And yet, sifting through debris at one house when there are thousands more that need help makes me feel completely helpless. Seeing piles and piles of wood and shingles and toys and clothes makes me feel helpless. How can my team possibly help? How can this city EVER be healed?


In the midst of these questions, I went to the worship service of the church we were staying at. They played one of my absolute favorite songs by Gungor, called "Beautiful Things". As soon as the band began playing it, I could not stop myself from weeping. Outside the church, people feel hopeless. Their friends and family may have died, and they have lost their home. But the message of redemption and hope is strong in this song, and I pray that when you listen to it, you will pray and weep for the city of Joplin as my team and I have. And then ask God if He wants you to go down and help. Let's be the body of Christ to bring healing to this city. 

"All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us."

adventure shoes

A couple weeks ago, I went to Chicago with my family and bought my first pair of Toms. First of all, I love these new shoes because they are extremely comfortable with great arch support. Second of all, I love these shoes because for every pair you buy, the Toms organization gives a pair to a child in need. Third of all, I love these shoes because they can be worn with jeans OR with a sundress. Flexibility, my friends, is an incredible thing.


But most importantly, I love what these shoes symbolize to me. Call me an emotional girl if you want, but these Toms actually have great significance in my daily life and remind me of some pretty amazing facts.


1.) I have always had this beautiful vision that Christ, garments soaked in blood, welcomes ME, garments dirtied, into his arms and embraces me. When I back away, my garments are covered with His blood. I am forgiven. His blood has literally covered me. And until I actually see Christ face to face and realize His forgiveness fully, these red shoes that cover my feet are a little reminder to me that wherever I go, whatever I do, I am covered in Christ's blood. Wherever I travel, I am forgiven. Wherever I wander or run, Christ is there with me and I am loved. The bright red color of these Toms reminds me of that.


2.) Because of the grace and forgiveness that I see in the color red, these shoes also remind me to follow Jesus wherever I am going on my journey.


"'Come, let us go up to the mountain
      of the Lord,
to the house of the God of Jacob.
He will teach us about His ways
so we may walk in His paths'...
For the mouth of the Lord of Hosts
has promised this:
Though all the peoples each walk
in the name of their gods [now],
we will walk in the name of Yahweh
   our God
forever and ever."
                      - Micah 4:2, 4-5


I love these verses. With every step I take in these shoes (and every other pair that I own), I am walking in the name of Yahweh. The footnotes in my Bible call this walk "a life in covenant with the Lord". Wherever I go on my journey with Christ, may I be reminded that I have made a covenant with Him- a covenant to follow Him alone and to walk in His name alone!


And I can only assume that as I realize God's love and grace for me and as I follow His ways by remembering our covenant, adventure will never be far off from where I am. I mean, Jesus was not a lethargic and comfortable guy. He talked to those who no one else talked to and He healed those that no one else would touch. THAT is the true adventure, friends! The true adventure is following Jesus in such a way that He leads you into a radical relationship with Him- a relationship that naturally brings you to do crazy things that the world would never consider. Like eating dinner with a tax collector and talking to an adulteress.


Adventure happens when Jesus loves me radically, I love Jesus radically, and I can then in turn love people radically.


May I always walk God's way, confident in His forgiveness and love. And may I always be grateful for the meaningless items that can become symbols, even in a very tiny way, of those things. Like red Toms.

trust (again)

Why is it so hard to completely trust God? Why do we as humans think that trust is some sort of ability- a skill that must be honed to perfection before it can be utilized? 


Perhaps it is because it gives us an excuse to avoid using that 'tool' until it has arrived at perfection- which we know will never happen (but that's the point of excuses, isn't it?). So, we never fully trust God because, honestly, we don't think that we think we know how, and we know that we don't know all there is to know about it. Two words: so what?


Why do we have this conception that God only wants us to do what He calls us to if it is in a perfect way? "I shouldn't witness to my co-worker yet; I don't have that one track memorized yet." "I don't want to start reading through that book of the Bible yet- I don't think I have time to read a chapter everyday." Trust me, God would much rather have our co-workers hear the Gospel now than in several months when we have finally gotten around to memorizing that track; God wants us to enjoy reading His word- He doesn't necessarily ask us to hold to the legalism of reading the Bible at a certain time every morning. After all, God opens up opportunities to witness and to read and to love because He wants us to trust HIM in those situations instead of relying on our own imperfections and inconsistencies. 


In the same way, we cannot wait to trust God until we completely understand Him or until we completely understand trust, one, because we never will do either and two, because our God is a god of believing and trusting Him in the NOW. God is trustable whether or not we trust Him, yet He wants a relationship with us that includes trust. 



 "You will keep in perfect peace
    the mind [that is] dependent [on You],
    for it is trusting in You.
  Trust in the LORD forever,
    because in Yah, the LORD, is an everlasting rock!"
                                 -Isaiah 26:3-4


This is one of my favorite verses. God is an unchanging rock- firm and steady and faithful and true. We have no reason NOT to trust in Him today! We should have no doubt that He will continually show us how to trust Him more fully. 
---------




"Hezekiah trusted in the LORD God of Israel; not one of the kings of Judah was like him, either before him or after him.  He held fast to the LORD and did not turn from following Him but kept the commandments the LORD had commanded Moses."
                                - 2 Kings 18:5-6

oh, just read a book

I was listening to someone talk the other day about how to connect with youth. He recommended certain books and videos for those who aren't often able to observe the radicals frequently. At first, I was slightly offended. The older generations want to learn about my generation- about ME- via generalization and stereotypes in videos and books? They want to learn from a secondary source instead of simply asking any 'youth' what they think about their own culture?

Then I realized that this idea of reading a book or watching a video to constantly build up knowledge instead of acting is nothing new. I mean, I do it practically all the time. I can't go there, do that, talk to that person, etc, because I do not know enough yet. I don't want to ask my friend with a different religion about their religion firsthand because that might be offensive and I don't want to look stupid. I can't try to communicate with the Hispanic at my work place because I need to learn more Spanish first.

Why is that? Why can't I use the knowledge and gifts that God has given me right now, at this moment, to begin impacting the people around me, instead of waiting to feel better equipped?

In John 9, Jesus heals a blind man. The Pharisees question the healed man about Jesus and what he knows about Him, and this is how the conversation continues:


 ²⁵ He replied, “Whether he is a sinner or not, I don’t know. One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see!”
 ²⁶ Then they asked him, “What did he do to you? How did he open your eyes?”
 ²⁷ He answered, “I have told you already and you did not listen. Why do you want to hear it again? Do you want to become his disciples too?”
 ²⁸ Then they hurled insults at him and said, “You are this fellow’s disciple! We are disciples of Moses! ²⁹ We know that God spoke to Moses, but as for this fellow, we don’t even know where he comes from.”
 ³⁰ The man answered, “Now that is remarkable! You don’t know where he comes from, yet he opened my eyes. ³¹ We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly person who does his will. ³² Nobody has ever heard of opening the eyes of a man born blind. ³³ If this man were not from God, he could do nothing.”
 ³⁴ To this they replied, “You were steeped in sin at birth; how dare you lecture us!” And they threw him out.

-John 9:25-34

Isn't it amazing that the blind man who was JUST introduced to Jesus' power and goodness understands more about Him than the Pharisees? The blind man physically interacted with Jesus and then understood how He could not possibly be a sinner. The Pharisees, for all their book knowledge and studying, still did not understand this!

May I not be a Pharisee. May I choose to learn directly by interacting with people and touching their lives instead of basing my world view on books that I have read that are written by people I will never meet. The people around me are walking stories that I need to learn to listen to.

Understand, I am not saying that reading books or watching informational videos is a bad thing. But I pray that I never learn to stereotype people, religions, or anything else by what I learn via those resources. Generalization is a dangerous thing. The beggar realized that Jesus wasn't just another sinner because he had an actual encounter with Jesus and was open.

Be open. Make encounters. Change lives. Don't just read books about ideas and religions, ask the people involved directly.

"ONE thing I do know. I once was blind, but now I see."
- the beggar.

I guess that's all I really need to know to effectively change lives.

what if?

What if?

That phrase makes me think of the insurance commercial with Snoopy; the commercial basically assures you, the audience, that if you use this insurance, you will never have to worry about the "what ifs" of life because you are covered and taken care of.

Does that sound like any other scenario to you? I immediately think of my amazing Heavenly Father, who goes to lengths to remind me not to worry because He's got me 'covered' (pardon my extremely bad metaphor). Here are some of my favorite examples:

"This is why I tell you: Don't worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Isn't life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the sky...Aren't you worth more than they?" -Matthew 6:25-26

"I look out the window; the birds are composing. Not a note is out of tune or out place. So why do I worry? Why do I freak out? God knows what I need." -Jon Foreman

"So when they arrest you and hand you over, don't worry beforehand what you will say. On the contrary, whatever is given to you in that hour- say it. For it isn't you speaking, but the Holy Spirit." -Mark 10:10-11

"On days when life is difficult and I feel overwhelmed, as I do fairly often, it helps to remember in my prayers that all God requires of me is to trust Him and be His friend." -Bruce Larson

The thing I love about these quotes and verses is that they all point back to the fact that God simply asks us to trust him because He knows what we need and He wants to give it to us. We are not called to look at the "what-ifs" alone. God will provide the food, just as he does for the sparrows; he will provide the words, through the Holy Spirit; and God will provide the friendship so that we are never alone.

We are also supposed to remember God's faithfulness even in our mess ups and overactings and exaggerations:

"What if some were unfaithful? Will their unfaithfulness nullify God's faithfulness? Not at all!..." -Romans 3:3

God wants to use my worrying and "what if" thinking to turn me to Him and His hope that I would trust Him. Even if I am unfaithful and choose to ignore His friendship and provision, my unfaithfulness does NOT define him. God wants to protect me from worrying because when an all-powerful God rules the universe, placement of control is not a questionable issue.

I once heard a speaker put it the following way: you are holding a quarter in both your hands- covering it completely. Then imagine another set of hands on top of your hands, holding your hands in place over the quarter. We are the quarter. Your heart is the quarter. God is the hands. You and I are so completely protected by God that worrying becomes really quite silly.

I no longer have to think about the "what if"s of life. I am protected and I am cared for. God provides.

trust and goodness

I'm amazed by God's goodness. 


This past week, I have been praying for some very specific things to happen. Things relating not only to me, but also some of my dear friends. And every single one of those specific things occurred in the way that I had prayerfully asked them to. 


Except for one. One of those prayer requests seemed to immediately be answered, but as the week progressed on, the answer turned into quite the opposite direction. To say that I was disheartened is putting it lightly- especially because this request had been about a friend of mine and her struggles. 


Why does God choose to respond to some requests and not others? Why did he pick THIS request- out of all of them- to be the one that didn't turn out? 


"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." -Isaiah 55:8


I will never understand God or the way He works. But I'm beginning to learn that God moves independently of me; He wants to use my life to spread his glory and love, but they will certainly be found by others regardless of what I do or do not do- even what I do or do not pray for. Yes, God loves giving those who follow him the desires of their hearts (Psalm 37:4-5), but He is more than my prayers sometimes limit him to. 


Today God is saying to me, "My ways are far beyond anything you could imagine." Will I trust that? Will I choose to accept the fact that God is good- whether I feel it at any moment in time or not? 


God, in His infinite goodness, is good independent of any prayer request or human being. God is good.

ready?

"I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus." -Paul


I think it's obvious that our world is focused on the external- even secular media people address this while they try to rationalize showing thirteen year old girls pictures of anorexic 'perfect' models. 


And yet I find myself focusing incredibly much on my outward display of 'spirituality' and 'godliness'; I tend to follow the socially acceptable Jesus and not the Jesus of the Bible who is radical and adventurous and full of love. 


What I'm trying to say by this is that when I think about tomorrow and the things to come I always ask myself if I'm ready. Am I ready to go to college? Am I ready to have a career? Get married? Have kids? Grow old? Am I mentally prepared for ____? It's a selfish inner view of how I personally can prepare myself. 


Yet, Paul makes the statement that he is ready to die for Jesus. Hands down. Not only to be persecuted by being bound, but ready to die. What if that was my focus? To make my commitment to Christ so central to my physical, mental and spiritual life that I would be able to boldly claim anytime, anywhere, that I am ready to die for Him. 


At the same time, isn't it so much easier for me to say that I would die for Christ than for me to honestly LIVE for him? I mean, immediately after Peter told Christ that he would die for His name at the Passover Supper, he denied Christ three times. Peter was willing to suffer physical consequences, but a blow to his pride was unthinkable. A life is much harder to dedicate and completely surrender than an impassioned momentary feeling of being willing to die for Christ. In order to die for Christ, you have to live for Christ. 


So, I guess what I should be asking myself is the following:


Am I ready to let God fill me with the strength to give myself to Him- not only in death, but in life as well?

fast for life

Isaiah 58:1-12

(True Fasting)

"Cry out loudly, don't hold back!
    Raise your voice like a trumpet.
    Tell My people their transgression,
    and the house of Jacob their sins.They seek Me day after day
    and delight to know My ways,
    like a nation that does what is right
    and does not abandon the justice of their God.
    They ask Me for righteous judgments;
    they delight in the nearness of God."
"Why have we fasted, but You have not seen?
    We have denied ourselves, but You haven't noticed!"
    "Look, you do as you please on the day of your fast,
    and oppress all your workers.
You fast [with] contention and strife
    to strike viciously with [your] fist.
    You cannot fast as [you do] today,
    [hoping] to make your voice heard on high.
Will the fast I choose be like this:
    A day for a person to deny himself,
    to bow his head like a reed,
    and to spread out sackcloth and ashes?
    Will you call this a fast
    and a day acceptable to the LORD?
Isn't the fast I choose:
    To break the chains of wickedness,
    to untie the ropes of the yoke,
    to set the oppressed free,
    and to tear off every yoke? 
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,
    to bring the poor and homeless into your house,
    to clothe the naked when you see him,
    and to not ignore your own flesh [and blood]?
Then your light will appear like the dawn,
    and your recovery will come quickly.
    Your righteousness will go before you,
    and the LORD's glory will be your rear guard.
At that time, when you call, the LORD will answer;
    when you cry out, He will say: Here I am.
    If you get rid of the yoke from those around you,
    the finger-pointing and malicious speaking, 
and if you offer yourself to the hungry,
    and satisfy the afflicted one,
    then your light will shine in the darkness,
    and your night will be like noonday.
 The LORD will always lead you,
    satisfy you in a parched land,
    and strengthen your bones.
    You will be like a watered garden
    and like a spring whose waters never run dry.
 Some of you will rebuild the ancient ruins;
    you will restore the foundations laid long ago;
    you will be called the repairer of broken walls,
    the restorer of streets where people live."


Wow. What absolutely impacts me about this chapter is that these are not things that can be accomplished in a day, a few days, or even a week. I will not be able to rid those around me of their yoke in one day on a quick-search-for-God-because-I-feel-lost fast. I will not be able to restore the foundations that have existed for generations in a week of a I-feel-guilty-so-I'll-give-up-soda-to-appease-God fast.

Is that depressing? Or is it instead refreshing? If we could accomplish everything God wanted us to in a week of us trying to humanly find him, what would be the point of following him the other 51 weeks of the year? I don't think God expects to accomplish everything in the 'true-fast' list in a certain amount of time. He gives us our lives to do it. I think God wants our lives to be a 'fast'- a period of time where we set aside everything else that is less important to focus solely on our Love and Creator.

Share with the hungry, bring the poor into your house, and feed the naked. For only a determined period of time? No. Share with the hungry, bring the poor into your house, and feed the naked for the rest of your life. Fast for life. Focus on God for life.

I love the last metaphor:
   "Some of you will rebuild the ancient ruins;
    you will restore the foundations laid long ago;
    you will be called the repairer of broken walls,
    the restorer of streets where people live."
God will literally re-build people's hearts through our actions that are empowered by Him.

conclusions

1. God is real
2. God is powerful and strong
3. God loves me
4. God wants me to love him and to love others

So wait. There's a God who possesses everything in the universe and has all power and he loves me? Me? How can he see my heart and still want it? What an amazing, uncomprendable love.

That's my conclusion.