philosophy

I don't know if you've ever read literature from people like David Foster Wallace or Nietzche, or if you've ever ever heard of them. They are both very intellectual people searching for purpose and meaning in a life that otherwise lacks both. Actually, Nietzche believed that meaning was found in man's search to tear the 'Veil of Maya', the only thing keeping him from truth. Yet Nietzche is also a nihilist who believes that humans crave purpose only because Christianity has instilled it in them and not because it is a natural instinct. I don't understand how meaning and no meaning work together, but that's just my limited understanding of Nietzche. David Foster Wallace believes that our entire life's purpose is to see experiences without personal bias and to choose what to think- to put yourself in another's shoes essentially. He believed that we search for the truths that are most obvious around us and at one point gives the analogy of a fish trying to convince himself that the thing surrounding him was water. Wallace wants us to get out of our 'default' setting in order to control our brain and its thoughts.

What I don't understand is why life has to be contemplated so philosophically- why meaning has to be so deep and undiscoverable. Shouldn't meaning be something that is an urge instilled in every person across the globe? A yearning so great that it cannot be stifled? 

Did you know that both Darwin and Nietzche were at one point devout Christians (or at least devout in the secular view)? Both went to church and had a strong passion for God. Then Darwin lost his daughter to an illness and began doubting. Nietzche lost both his dad and brother at a young age. He stopped going to church and stopped believing. God had died. 

It's interesting to me that two men who have so significantly shaped today's culture both experienced deep and painful loss. Why do we humans doubt God's goodness and purpose in pain? How can devout followers reject a God because he seems to spite them? 

The truth is actually simple. We are messed up humans. God is perfect beyond comprehension. And we try to get SO philosophical about meaning and life that we miss the simple truth: God loves us and wants to have a relationship with us. Indeed, God himself is the most philosophical being in existence. He always has been, always will be, has all power, knows all things, is perfect in righteous anger and in righteous mercy, lacks bias toward race, gender, or religion yet can judge righteously. Yet, His consistency is simple. 

"What can be known about God is evident among them, because God has shown it to them. From the creation of the world his invisible attributes, that is, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what he has made. As a result, people are without excuse." 

-Romans 1:18-21

Philosophy is overrated because the truth is simple. God is alive and he lavishes grace and love.

oh college.

things I know I want in my college:

1.) the school is not only Christ affiliated, but Christ centered.
2.) the people are totally in love with Jesus.
3.) the classes always bring everything back to Jesus.
4.) the campus life is upbeat and reflects God's values.

i want to know people. I want people to want to know me. and I want God to be a major part of our friendships so that we can encourage each other and help each other grow.

Is this too much to ask for? hm. no. I dont' think so. I just need to find a college where all of these things come into play. I'm not going to settle. I'm not going to compromise. God has a college for me where I can carry out His purpose and His ministry. I can't wait to see which college He has for me!

love,
Kait.

generous and true

^"The Word became flesh and blood,
      and moved into the neighborhood.
   We saw the glory with our own eyes,
      the one-of-a-kind glory,
      like Father, like Son,
   Generous inside and out,
      true from start to finish...
We all live off his generous bounty,
      gift after gift after gift."
                             -John 1:14, 16


It's funny how I can never truly express what I'm thinking or how good I truly believe God through words...God is so much more than words. So beyond all that we say and do.

God is so generous. I see this through friendships and through family...through late night dinners with friends after work...through 'randomly' meeting friends in study hall...through finding a five dollar bill in my jeans.

God is so true. He has kept me safe through go kart rollings and car crashes...Through plane rides and school days. He takes away my fear and encourages me to LIVE.

I really do live off of His generous bounty, give after gift after gift (after gift after gift).

live like music.

My friend just texted me a clip of her singing to a song that was very personal to her. It was raw and real. It touched something deep in me, something that alot of times I forget is even there. It touched ME. Not who I try to be or who others see me as- ME. It wasn't me singing. But something inside of me was.

I want to live my life like music. I want people to feel like I see them for who they are and for all that they're worth. I want to connect to people on a personal level without being intimidating.

People turn to music to feel better. They turn to their friends to feel better. I want to be there to help turn them to Jesus to help them LIVE better.

i'm not who i was

I wonder if it's human nature to want to change. I don't mean moving across the world or getting plastic surgery, although that's what it may mean for some people. I mean becoming someone different. A different personality, a different set of skills. And I wonder if everybody else struggles with the want to change as much as I do.

I recently went to a family reunion and got to hang out with some members of the family that I hadn't seen in five years. That's alot of time. Alot of time to change. It was so awesome to see people mature, to see their life stories continually develop.

And even I have changed from five years ago. God's done alot of stuff in me and outside of me. But if that's what I'm focusing on, is that the right focus? If I'm focusing on changing solely to look different to others, is that the right motive?

Shouldn't I be focused on changing so that God looks different to others? So that His message is increasingly clear?

-----

I spend alot of time in the past, thinking about how 'far' I've come. I want to change that. I want to change because Jesus loves people. I want to change for Jesus because I want to love people. I don't know if that makes sense to you, but it is making more and more sense to me every day. Change for me tends to be for selfish reasons. The kind of change that Jesus is into is never for selfish reasons.

Change me, Jesus.