professional

I think it's easy to become a professional Christian. It's easy to go to church every Sunday and Wednesday. It's easy to have a recommitment every summer at camp. It's easy to lead worship on a routine basis and to enjoy the performance instead of the worship. It's easy to learn the right church lingo and to say the phrases that sound nice. We learn what works and what is efficient. And because those things are efficient and require no examination of interior motives to execute, we continue to do them.

Friends, may we never come to a place where entering into the presence of God becomes just another thing to do. May we never think so highly of ourselves that our attendance or performance or speech is what earns us His grace and life. May we not go to church because it is the 'efficient' way to fit God into our Sabbath.

Let yourself be examined by the Spirit this week. Let Him go all the way to the depths of your being- to your traditions, habits, talents, insecurities, downfalls...let Him sift through it all. And ask Him to heal you there, on the dirt floor of your heart.

God doesn't need professionals. That's not what he wants you to be. That's not how he wants you to live. To be professional at reaching God is to rely on your own capabilities- to rely on the flesh.

"You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you...If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you (ESV Romans 8:9, 11)."

abandon

"In our abandonment we give ourselves over to God just as God gave Himself for us, without any calculation. The consequences of abandonment never enter into our outlook because our life is taken up with Him." -Oswald Chambers

It really bugs me when Christian books instruct the reader to abandon all to God so that ______ happens. So that you get a promotion. So that your prayer life is enhanced. So that you find the perfect spouse. So that your life can be good.

That view of abandonment is so very shallow! If we are entering into abandonment with the idea that we will receive everything we humanly want, we are not truly abandoning ourselves. Even if we enter into the idea of abandonment simply so that our prayer life will be enhanced, we are not abandoning ourselves for the true reason that abandonment even exists.

Abandonment is a complete trusting in who God is and what He wants to do in our lives. Abandonment is letting him do it. In fact, I think that the only proper response to God's goodness and glory is to abandon ourselves completely. Abandonment exists so that our lives are no longer about what we do or where we go or what we receive, but instead, they are intrinsically bound up in God's way of living- bound up in his patience, love, gentleness, generosity, humility, unity...we abandon ourselves not knowing what God will do with us but trusting him all the same. Abandonment is done out of faith, and that faith is always always rewarded.

Friends, abandon yourselves to Christ. Abandon yourself so that God receives glory and praise. Abandon yourself with the realization that God wants to use you even more than He already is. Abandon yourself because it is the only appropriate response to God's glory, holiness and goodness.

Oswald Chambers again sums up this whole idea perfectly:
"Tell God you are ready to be offered, and God will prove Himself to be all you ever dreamed He would be."

"You follow me!" -Jesus (Acts 21:22)

decisions

"Trust in the Lord, and do good; 

dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness.

Delight yourself in the Lord, 

and he will give you the desires of your heart. 

Commit your way to the Lord; 

trust in him, and he will act. 

He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, 

and your justice as the noonday...

The steps of a man are established by the Lord, 

when he delights in his way;

though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, 

for the Lord upholds his hand.

I have been young, and now am old, 

yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken 

or his children begging for bread. 

He is ever lending generously, 

and his children become a blessing...

The mouth of the righteous utters wisdom, 

and his tongue speaks justice. 

The law of God is in his heart; 

his steps do not slip."

                          -Psalm 37, ESV

My favorite line in this, my current favorite psalm, is, "I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread. He is ever lending generously." It's so true, isn't it?

So why do I doubt it? Why do I even for a second think that the Lord will forsake me or leave me begging for bread? 

I have some important decisions to make within the next few days. By this Monday, actually. These decisions, one in particular, are quite possibly the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make. God is asking me if I trust him, if I have faith in the promises that he has made. 

Here is a prayer from my journal from a few days ago:

"Test me, O Lord. Pray away at my heart, bit by bit. And find me faithful. Find me true. Only You satisfy, and I can only realize that when I am right here, thirsty and hungry for the Living Water and for manna. 

All these trials and emotions will pass, sweet Jesus, and I will be left just to be with you for eternity. What a blessed thought. I couldn't want anything more. 

To be with you, Jesus, is life. To talk to you, Jesus, life. Knowing you, satisfaction. Trusting you, the greatest adventure that life offers. 

I want nothing more than this right here. You. From today on, even when I break down, I still long for only you. Because I acknowledge that everything that's messed up right now will soon be made right. Your glory and Kingdom will reign. Hallelujah! I eagerly await that day...

Breathe on me your fragrance and trust. Put a fire in my bones. I am no true disciple of you if I sit here claiming to want your Kingdom and yet not acting in your name. Direct my passion. You are the God of all gods and the Light among lights. You give life and you heal. What an amazing Father you are to those that love You."

May the Lord direct you and uphold your head. May he guide your path. May his will for your life be your will for your life because of how close you are to his heart. 

"Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in the way." -Psalm 25:8