ready?

"I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus." -Paul


I think it's obvious that our world is focused on the external- even secular media people address this while they try to rationalize showing thirteen year old girls pictures of anorexic 'perfect' models. 


And yet I find myself focusing incredibly much on my outward display of 'spirituality' and 'godliness'; I tend to follow the socially acceptable Jesus and not the Jesus of the Bible who is radical and adventurous and full of love. 


What I'm trying to say by this is that when I think about tomorrow and the things to come I always ask myself if I'm ready. Am I ready to go to college? Am I ready to have a career? Get married? Have kids? Grow old? Am I mentally prepared for ____? It's a selfish inner view of how I personally can prepare myself. 


Yet, Paul makes the statement that he is ready to die for Jesus. Hands down. Not only to be persecuted by being bound, but ready to die. What if that was my focus? To make my commitment to Christ so central to my physical, mental and spiritual life that I would be able to boldly claim anytime, anywhere, that I am ready to die for Him. 


At the same time, isn't it so much easier for me to say that I would die for Christ than for me to honestly LIVE for him? I mean, immediately after Peter told Christ that he would die for His name at the Passover Supper, he denied Christ three times. Peter was willing to suffer physical consequences, but a blow to his pride was unthinkable. A life is much harder to dedicate and completely surrender than an impassioned momentary feeling of being willing to die for Christ. In order to die for Christ, you have to live for Christ. 


So, I guess what I should be asking myself is the following:


Am I ready to let God fill me with the strength to give myself to Him- not only in death, but in life as well?